I take the Huey to work. I swear I could barely see in front of my face this morning. I take the GNO home. The GNO wasn't too bad this afternoon. The wind is still kicking it up out there though.

Just finally got power back after losing it Sunday morning.

I spent the entirety of Sunday, Monday, and most of Today helping remove limbs of trees.

I was the only one with enough stupidity to be out in the weather of Sunday, with all the trees falling. But people needed help, and I sure as hell would want help if I needed it. So I was there to offer.

I'm really hurting... Like... I don't like this.

Is it really too much to ask to be filled in every now and then? I mean, Jesus, I send her a message every single morning, and multiple ones in the day, just to let her know that I care. Just to let her know that I enjoy being with her, and after an entire three months of it, I've only gotten 2 replies... And they didn't even say anything back.

You know, I just feel disconnected. I understand that she has stuff on her mind, and things to do in the day, but you know what... So do I, yet somehow I manage to find, no, MAKE time for her. I just don't get it, honestly...

Is it really too much to ask? Do I always have to initiate any conversations? Do I always have to be the one calling? Do I always have to be the one surprising her? Do I always have to be the fucking one to say "I love you" first?

A relationship is supposed to be a friendship, first and foremost... I'd like to think she wouldn't just ignore her best friend.

She had a shitty day today. I can understand that. But I didn't find out from her. I found out from my best friend, who goes to school with her, and spent the evening with her. I haven't even heard fucking square one from her. Whenever we talk on the phone, she's tired, and we only get to talk for maybe five minutes, before she says goodbye, and repeats the process. I barely get to talk to her, I get to see her even less.

I just love her so much that it hurts when you get ignored... I mean shit, I would rather have her fucking screaming at me than ignoring me... At least then I'm somewhere near her mind... but all I've been getting lately is indifference. And I don't want to hurt her, so I'm trying to let her know as nicely as possible that just once, JUST FUCKING ONCE, I'd like to be surprised. I'd like to BE told that she loves me BEFORE I say it.

I'm REALLY damn sorry that I'm monopolizing on space here, but I've just got a maelstrom of emotions swirling around in my tiny little head and if I didn't start putting some of them down, I would fucking explode.

[/Rant]

I love her... I do... I just don't want to feel like I'm the only one putting in effort.

I think I'm going to just go to bed...... Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow.

I dont like the new music player of myspaceeee.... i added 4 songs... nothing happen.. doesnt show up?!
it sucks......... but it works on my private profile. weird.. I think I need to remove some codes IT SUCKS.

Not so much pissed... just a little upset

I was supposed to go see Lillian Axe with my Dad tonight.... He stood me up.

I had to work today...and write someone up, it's not that I'm pissed off. It's just I don't like to deal with those kinds of issues. Necessary evil of being a manager, I guess.

Sometimes being a manager does suck....hang in there!

I'm not pissed, but pretty HOT - literally! My air quit working last night. I was hoping it just froze up & would come on when I got home from work today....nope. It clicks at the thermostat, but nothing from the actual unit. The heater doesn't work either. I am PRAYING I don't need a whole new unit. I have 0 funds for that....

mother nature....girls u get the drift

nip/tuck season 6 wont air until january and it will end in 2011:(

because nothing seems to be going right today. its still early but i doubt it'll change.

because I cant get home fast enough to finish my queer as folk marathon

Because my friend Alex's partner Ty found out today that his cancer has spread and is now inoperable. Ty is only 27 and he and Alex are truly soulmates. This whole thing sucks on way too many levels. Please send prayers of love up for both of them. Thanks.

my prayers go out to the both of them!!

awww that's so young! <3 They are in my thoughts and prayers! <3